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[24 Jan 2005|01:11pm]
[ mood | sick ]

my uncle's body was found last night in his apartment. he was 45 years old. i was very close to him. we knew eachother really well. uncle by marriage, but still my fucking uncle. if i am not online much within the next week or so don't fucking miss me.

12 whore notes kiss me goodbye

[20 Jan 2005|12:19am]
my new screen name is

choking on nails

add it and IM me to remind me to add you if i haven't already. no more aol email or anything i must switch everything over. after years with america online i have 'shut the door.' sbc yahoo dsl is the way to be.
6 whore notes kiss me goodbye

i wanted to be a big star, baby. i didn't mean to squeeze so fucking hard. [27 Dec 2004|11:28am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

pressed the seven sequenced silver panic buttons,
the distress calls that fall on a distracted short-wave signal.
a metronome timed to my panic stricken breathing
and a pulse conducted by our dying lines.
you said my heart sounded like a payphone in the rain.
distorted, distant, scrambled and desperate.
baby, i swear to god tonight i am sober.
it's the reception between us that's failing.
everything's coming out all frenzied and confused.
she's got what it takes to make collapsing a habit
and a dance out of a tantrum fit (it's tragic but i am sobering up).
pick up the phone.
tonight i feel like the hero of a rusting war.
my touch has the timing and precision of a car wreck.
no use translating the trembles.
they're symptoms of repetitive testing for fluctuation.
if i come back home, i am bringing back the bends.
so give me a kiss. let me taste the reptilian appeal.
say it again baby. does it turn you on? does it get you hot?
i get a little hysterical sometimes.
the panic you shouldn't have been so sentimental.
all that kicking and screaming.
everything i touch starts peeling.
we malfunction like machines.
get up off the floor and answer the phone.
i want to be a big star.
didn't want to touch so hard.
open the door.
i am your deviant satellite, an orbit defected by the ballast of words.
you're the reason for collisions.
i am face down like a sailor washed up under your window.
tonight is a shipwreck.
navigating through disorder.
now every electric star hums like a telecaster.
how punk rock is that?
you're so oblivious.
baby, you're my oblivion.

christmas gift list:

new bury your dead.
etid last night in town re-issue
etid burial plot bidding war (glad to have an actual copy)
volcom track jacket
gap jeans discounted extremely (after christmas sales own)
lord of the rings return of the king
the lost boys
planes, trains, and automobiles
the most comfortable pajama pants ever
a pillow form nicole witha little bookle tin it with lyrics to such great heights by the postal service and an explanation for the purpose of that pillow. it is..no lie my favorite gift of all.
an evergreen terrace burned alive by time shirt
scarlet hollywood shirt.
a good amount of money remaining to be spent on who knows what.

i am excited about new years eve because it is always loaded with good times and memories and awkward silences and arguments. my family is even out of control on christmas eve/day. it is like we say some of the most politically incorrect things at the most inopportune times. we are capable of rendering al sharpton speechless. i would love (before i get together with the family)for nicole and i to hang out with danielle and kyle. it just seems like a very fit thing to do since we are the two best couples on the planet. i am very hungry right now iand i am debating ordering a pizza. everyone go out and buy new cd's and give me a review and your opinion on them (sinc ei don't have enough ideas of cds to buy.) tell me what you've been listening to. tell me how everything is going and tell me everything that you got for chistmas. i sound like a distant uncle who only randomly shows up when he feels guilty for her lack of appearance in your life. he says he lives in north dakota but the truth is he is right down the street and just does not want to deal with your horrible family? the master of random thoughts ladies and gentlemen. i love you nicole sweetheart. new years eve repeat of last year. what a great night it is going to be.

comment kids. i would appreciate it.

5 whore notes kiss me goodbye

we're all fucking dead [24 Nov 2004|10:35am]
[ mood | excited ]

To my mistress the bridge, I don't feel well. I'll be leaving and you can't stop me. We've been carrying on too long, I'm sorry, but I'm gone. I've got a bad reputation to think about. I've been dirty, I've been wrong. Maybe someday they'll find that I've washed up. I'm stepping out to clear my head. I'm breathing in to fill my lungs. We're all dead. Farewell scenic highway overpass. It's better this way anyways. My lover the river makes a better soldier than a bride. But I left my suit at the side of her bed and she's got the warmest body that I've never had. Drag the lake, you'll find that it's full of love. Bring the children to the water and let them see what heartache did. This matrimony needs a witness, and you can teach them to swim. Don't let your dreamers grow up to be dead men. Drown us at birth, save her some time. Drifting on romantic holiday, breathless as her cold arms cover me. Drag the lake. You will find it is full of love.

so i am finally out of shol for thanksgving break. if you have keep up with my journal as of late you know that things have been going well for quite awhile, but also if you follow my entries you know that i have a once every two month angry rant. so here goes. yesterday i go to government second period and we didn't have anything to do so we went into the tech lab ith the economics class which my cousin brice and friend jersain are in. these people from this technical schoo entitled the devry institute were there. i see temon day time regular tv. tells you how legitimate they are and how qualified you have to be to go there. their commercials come on during jerry springer along with the worker's comp crap. anyway. we had to check these boxes that fit us under different categories. whatever. then there was a code. difficult to explain. anyway. i was the only one with the code C-A-I and there wa sno profession on there with that code so the recuiting lady told me..'you'll have to hange your personality and goals because what you filled out doesn't eet the requirements of any of these professions.' thankful for that woman the bell rang. she reminded me of rupaul. i ranted and spoke my mind to my friend and expressedmy disapproval for this woman's 'ability' to tell me what i can and what i cannot do. iwas outside in between campuses going to english and i said to george, 'god damnit, man.' this elder black teacher comes up to me and says..'did i hear you ue the lord's name in vain.......'

alright stop. time froze as i looked down into this woman's eyes with sheer hatred. ok. i replied..'well, it depends on how long you've been listening in.' i apologized for using profanity because sre it's not proper at school, whatever. once again. if you know me you can just imagine my reaction to this woman's words. visualize my facial expression. do you ever become extremely angry with the world and the actions of the people that inhabit it. people killing children by cutting their arms off. seriously what kind of world is this.

kill me now.

nicole i am ready for tomorrow and the first actual thanksgiving spent in eachothers' presence. i am proud of you and your temorary job that has the potential of being a full-time in the future i am sure. i want to call you. have a nice day, sweetheart.

7 whore notes kiss me goodbye

original material. feedback. [05 Aug 2004|05:27pm]
[ mood | bored ]

sleep well tonight my dear, for this may very well be your final night to grace this world with your presence. wait, darling dont budge. do not make this any more difficult or heart wrenching than it has to be. would i be asking too much of you to keep this bloody mess and your angelic voice contained? just a few ticks of the clock, i promise. didn't your parents ever teach you that patients is a virtue? your skin has never been quite this pale..don't worry. i can fix that.

there, baby. now it's as blue as your eyes.

forever repelling your hollowpoint words and force feeding every last one of them down your fucking throat.

..and i will set your wings of silk ablaze.

"6 duffle bags-$2.00
2 murder weapons-$7.50
1 mop with pine sol-$5.23
the feeling of satisfaction- priceless.
(aka i'm sorry.)"

6 whore notes kiss me goodbye

[22 Jul 2004|10:58am]

Your LJ Perfect Date
LJ Username
Choose a random word
Your Perfect Date sumaluh
You have dinner at a 5 star restaurant
Afterwards you play video games
Your date asks you to take some gas x
You say run, Forest, run!
Chance you will get lucky - 18%
This cool quiz by akasha82 - Taken 19541 Times.
New - How do you get a guy to like you?

haha. what's the definition of lucky? oh, nicole, do you think i get lucky? what's sad is that i've said that before and i do fart a lot. but man, oh man..never has it held her back.
5 whore notes kiss me goodbye

this made me laugh to no end. [11 Jul 2004|04:23am]
My Best Friend is miziles
Our 24 common interests are: 311, \m/, a static lullaby, a thousand falling skies, as i lay dying, bleeding through, code red, donnie darko, eighteen visions, evergreen terrace, fight club, from autumn to ashes, glassjaw, in flames, it dies today, lostprophets, norma jean, on broken wings, scarlet, shows, sinai beach, skycamefalling, the bled, throwdown
Who is your best friend?
Created by macoto
1 whore note kiss me goodbye

[24 Jun 2004|10:13am]
kenze has demanded me write an entry about her. kenze is my best friend. kenze and i are troublemaking sacreligious motherfuckers who like to watch movies together and sit on our own comfortable couch in foley's inside of towne east mall. we have several idiotic pictures of us together doing stupid things such as stealing pine cones out of people's yards. she used to live in sanger(which is like over an hour away), but starting in april the unthinkable happened..she started going to school with me. awkward i know. and i am so much cooler than her cousin. we had met in person 2 or 3 times and then all of the sudden..BAM. everyday. i am the coolest friend she has ever had in my opinion. lol. i don't know. we have gone to three shows together.

april 10th- as i lay dying, everytime i die, black dahlia murder, scarlet.

may 1st- slipknot, chimaira, fear factory, death by stereo.

may 8th- a static lullaby, the bled, vendetta red, the lonely kings, reitisonic.

kenze knows my girlfriend. they are funny. kenze has a boyfriend and his name is paolo and he is supposedly in a 'band' called blink 185 as they were dubbed my mckenze and allison. ha. i am..so happy to have kenze as a friend. before she moved here..in my eyes this town was dull. i needed a friend away from the alcohol and immaturity. she brought that to me and i am thankful for that. i'd hate to have to go to school next year..not seeing her face. i never thought it would be this fun. yes, we annoy eachother sometimes, but that's the beauty of it.

thursday july first- the rocket summer, plaine white t's, number one fan, kevin devine. (not much of a fan, but kenze is)

wednesday august 11th- evergreen terrace, the red chord, a life onc elost, fear before the march of flames.

it's hanging in the balance kenze.
6 whore notes kiss me goodbye

happy birthday [28 Mar 2004|12:29am]
happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday

Happy birthday to the most beautiful person on the face of this earth. my girlfriend nicole danielle ireta graham. :) you know the way you make me feel, baby. you can see it in my eyes and feel it in my heartbeat. thanks for existing. thanks for loving me and for letting me love you. looking forward to seeing you later on today. i love you with all of my heart, nicole.
5 whore notes kiss me goodbye

[27 Mar 2004|11:13am]
[ mood | fuck you. ]

i'll stick you a little enough to take your oxygen away. set you on fire, because i'm on fire. and i'm with you alone. i'm so in..to..this whore afraid i might lose her.

..so forget about, because i'll stick you..

kiss me goodbye

whoaaa [01 Mar 2004|05:20pm]
just when you think life cant get any better..someone offeres to give you money for no reason.

march 11th- norma jean, dead poetic, unearth, haste the day.

may 1st- slipknot, chimaira, fear factory


im liking this.
4 whore notes kiss me goodbye

[31 Dec 2003|12:09am]
[ mood | tired ]

livejournal. time to use again. someone help me get my cross back. help? you know what i mean..

2 whore notes kiss me goodbye

[22 Dec 2003|01:41pm]
ill start updating again soon. i know you kids miss me. where is my fucking cross?
6 whore notes kiss me goodbye

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